I heard a radio blurb the other day relating to parenting. It talked about the 9 most important minutes of a kids day. Should we just spend 9 minutes a day with our kids? Here are my thoughts.
Many times as moms we have a lot of guilt about whether we are raising our children right.
We worry that we don’t give them enough attention, that we give them too many possession, that we ignore them or that we are just messing them up for life in some way because of our actions.
Although I think we should spend more than 9 minutes a day with our kids, I think these 9 minutes are very important in parenting.
- the first three minutes–right after they wake up
- the three minutes after they come home from school (if you homeschool, this might be 3 minutes during lunch)
- the last three minutes of the day–before they go to bed
My Parenting Thoughts on these 9 Minutes
I think by focusing on these 9 minutes, we can really connect with our kids and be well on our way to a great relationship. Do I think kids need more than 9 minutes? Absolutely!
If you’re a homeschool mom, you should have many minutes with your kids. Check in to see if you are really connecting with your kids or just existing together. Are you engaged with your children or are you in your own world and just want them to behave and do their chores for you?
It’s important to say “Good Morning” and give your child a hug if they are open to that. Some kids need an hour or more before they are ready to talk to anyone. For that kid, make sure you make eye contact when you first see them and give them a big smile.
Whether your children go to school or are home with you, it’s important to connect with them and make eye contact around lunch time or when they get home. A quick hug, eye contact, and verbal check in can go a long way in your relationship.
Everyone likes to be noticed. Make sure you notice your children for a few minutes each afternoon too.
Evenings can be busy, but bedtime check in is important in parenting. Take a minute to see how your child’s day went. Maybe talk about how to make tomorrow even better. If your child tends to be too tired or cranky to talk at bedtime, pick a time an hour or 2 before that to check in with them. Read them a story or pick a favorite evening routine that will let them know you are on their team and interested in who they are and what they are doing.
This list can really help with mom-guilt. At the end of a day, if I have focused on my child these 9 minutes in a day and really connected with them, I will feel accomplished.
If you spent some longer time discussing things with your children, that is great. Do the best you can with the time you have available and begin again tomorrow. Lay all your guilt aside and focus on these positive minutes.
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